On the homepage, I have two sections. One is an essay that I wrote my freshman year on why God exists. Another is to a page for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation. I also have a picture that says alopecia in the eight pictures that is right below the paragraph that talks about why I started this.
I've never said why I had those up there. Some of my closest friends on here (I think only one that knows...) wouldn't bat an eye at that because of what they know about me. I have alopecia, and if you didn't know from the things that I had provided (granted, I don't think you would have really looked into it if you didn't have an interest in it) or just knew anything about, it's hair loss. More particularly, it's your immune system attacking hair follicles, which is causing the hair to fall out and possibly not grow back. There are different types of alopecia, but today I'm not going to be talking about that isn't really relevant to what I am going to be talking about. I got diagnosed with alopecia when I was eight years old. I actually remember the day really specifically. I was in the pool at my grandparents' house. I was playing with my little sister (wow, she was four then!! That's crazy to think about) and I remember her kicking my face and my tooth coming out with it. A little bit after that had happened, I remember my mom seeing a bald spot on the back of my head and me not even really paying attention to her. I honestly thought that she was going to forget it by the time that we got home from their house. Much to my dismay, she hadn't forgotten, and soon began my journey of seeing a ton of doctors for this. Currently, there is no cure for alopecia. I don't think there is any cure for any autoimmune disease (don't quote me on that... I didn't do my research, I know, bad of me). I did get tons of treatments for it though. None of which have given me the same results as some. I've heard that some people would get their whole hair back and then years later it would all fall out again. I would honestly much rather that than not having that at all. I'm 17 now and I still have it. I don't think this would be something that I'll get rid of unfortunately. This disease has really affected me in the way that I look at myself. It's very common for people with alopecia to get this feeling of self-consciousness because they don't want anyone to see what's wrong with them. I know that I have suffered with that and still am suffering from feeling really self-conscious with how my hair looks. There have been times where people have pointed it out, but luckily all of those times I got away with not having to answer or give reasoning towards it. I've always felt like this is something that I need to hide. I still feel that way. It's very hard to see the fact that I have bald spots and see that I'm not normal. One of the biggest things that I have trouble with is feeling like I'm not normal. It's hard, and I've been feeling that way for so long. When I was younger (and still to this day), I wondered why I had to be different. Why I couldn't have the same hairstyles as some of the other girls. I would see my sisters have these hairstyles that I couldn't wear because I would be really self-conscious to wear it. There is always an option to shave my head and not have to deal with it anymore. The biggest problem with that for me is that I could never do that. I could never have the strength to be able to do that and walk around confidently like a lot of others could. I think part of my anxiety stems from the fact that I was diagnosed with alopecia at a young age. It sucks. It really sucks. There have been days where I was just crying in my bed because all I wanted to do was be normal. I want to not have to feel self-conscious about my hair and always wonder if there is a bald spot that's showing. It's really draining, and I hate that I feel this way. This is just something that I'm going to have to deal with. I'm going to therapy, and she knows that this is definitely something that is impacting my mental health. I hope to in the future be able to say that my alopecia isn't affecting me in a negative way. It's just a part of life.
2 Comments
9/11/2022 11:01:51 pm
Thank you for teaching me about this. I've never heard of alopecia, and I'm praying that God helps you through this and your mental health. I know just a smidget how much self-consciousness can affect a person. I hope, like you, that in the future, you will be able to say it doesn't affect you and that God used it to draw you closer to him.
Reply
Cora
9/12/2022 11:39:42 am
I'm really glad that you learned something from this!!!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorJust your average 18 year old girl that enjoys writing, and wants to spread awareness to things that are important to me and write about random stuff! Archives
January 2024
Categories
All
|