I wrote this for a little writing type thing about five months ago on a Bible app. I also wrote this at like midnight, so I'm sorry if things don't make too much sense. I did edit it a little bit, but that's probably not enough. Sorry.
Word Count: 1,275
Word Count: 1,275
"Miss. Ellis, wake up." I slowly opened my eyes. Why was I being called by my maiden name? I hadn't been called that in years. When I opened my eyes, I swear I saw my old freshman English teacher. I vigorously rubbed my eyes but she was still standing there.
"Wait, where am I?" I asked, still groggy from sleeping. I heard laughter coming from all around me. I turned around and saw my old classmates, whom I haven't seen in years. I'm still friends with some of them on social media, but when we all started going to our separate ways, we kind of stopped staying in touch.
"The same place you've been to everyday for the past year. The same place you've been at all day." But that can't be right. I graduated from high school years ago. I just finished my master's in psychology and counselling, and I was about to take my therapist licensing test before I decided to take a nap right before.
I heard even more laughter. I looked around and saw that everyone was covering their mouth trying to hide the fact that they were laughing. Ha ha, grow up people. It's not that funny. Teachers picking on students isn't funny. Not even sure if this is even considered picking on someone.
When I was looking around, I made eye contact with someone in particular. Nathan Collins. My future husband. His face had a sorry look plastered all over it. If I remembered correctly, we weren't even dating back in 9th grade. We were just really good friends. Ah, it's so cute how he's concerned about me. That quality about him hasn't changed when we got older.
A sudden wave of nausea came over me. I put my hand over my stomach and instantly remembered what had happened. The stupidest mistake I had ever made, but also one of the greatest joys in my life. I was pregnant. I completely forgot that I had gotten pregnant with my oldest daughter, Caroline, when I was 15 and in 9th grade. My current boyfriend had somehow convinced me to do it because, and I quote, "Everyone else is doing it and no one else is getting pregnant. So what is the harm in doing it just this once to experiment." I knew that I shouldn't have, and I knew that it wasn't what God had wanted me to do, but that convinced me somehow.
After Caroline was born, Asher, my boyfriend at the time, broke up with me because he didn't want to be a father and take on that role that young. That had really angered me since he had promised when I had first gotten pregnant that he was going to stay with us no matter what happens. That's what I get for trusting his word in the first place.
I was so thankful that my parents helped out when they could so that I could get an education. I mean, they were furious of course when they first found out. That was probably the worst fear that I had after initially finding out myself. How my parents would've reacted. After the initial shock, they realized that this was going to happen no matter what, so they snapped out of it and started supporting me.
I was told by literally everyone outside of my family and friends to give up my baby for adoption or have an abortion. I was not about to go through an abortion, because it wasn't her fault for my poor judgment and decisions. I also didn't want to give her up for adoption because keeping her would mean that I would think through my actions the next time I was ever in a situation like that. Plus, she's my daughter. I can't just give her up or even kill her!
Nathan was a wonderful friend during my pregnancy and even after her birth. He always stayed with me when I wasn't feeling the best and always attended to my needs. After the birth, he took care of Caroline when no one else could take care of her so I could go to work or do some school. Eventually, after all the time that we spent together, we fell in love and started dating soon after she was born.
During my pregnancy, I grew in my faith and grew in my relationship with God. Before that, I was an okay Christian. I mean, I went to church every Sunday and I read the Bible, but I never really thought about actually living His Word in my life. I started really thinking about things in my life and started thinking about things that I could do to please God. I started studying His Word and really digging deeper into it. That ultimately grew my love and relationship with God, and I couldn't be more ecstatic that He made me realize that I needed to do that.
After Nathan and I had graduated and Caroline was 2 years old, he proposed. We had gotten married the summer before our freshman year of college. We ended up moving into the apartment that he had chosen to move into for college. He revealed to me that he had been working since the birth and started saving the money specifically for me. I had asked him why, and he said that he had always been in love with me and that he was going to do anything for me no matter what.
Things weren't always all sunshine and rainbows. Around the end of my college years, I had fallen into a deep depression where it was hard for me to really do anything. One day, it was really bad. I had started getting suicidal and tried convincing myself that killing myself would be the best option for everyone around me. I ended up making the decision that killing myself was the best option. I waited for Nathan to go and take Caroline to day care so that we could focus on doing school without the distraction of a 2-year-old.
Right after he left, I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I asked myself multiple times if this was the best option. The deathly spiral continued, and I kept telling myself that it was a good idea. I went straight to the balcony from the bathroom. I remember thinking that I had to act fast because Nathan was probably almost home since the day care wasn't that far away. I looked over the balcony at the city. I remember thinking that everything looked so perfect and that everyone seemed to be perfect.
I climbed the side of the balcony, and when I reached and got over the top, I hear the front door open and hear Nathan calling for me. I don't know why, but I broke down and started sobbing. He quickly found me and didn't even ask why I was on top of the balcony. He got me down and started holding me while I cried into his shirt. From that day on, I knew that the people around me needed me, and I can't resort to killing myself as the answer.
We finished off college, and I decided to get my master's while Nathan went and found a job. Shortly after graduating from the four-year college, I got pregnant with my second child, Maxon.
"Miss. Ellis, did you hear my question?" I snapped out of my thoughts and shook my head. She sighed and told me again, "Can you please answer number five for us?"
"Wait, where am I?" I asked, still groggy from sleeping. I heard laughter coming from all around me. I turned around and saw my old classmates, whom I haven't seen in years. I'm still friends with some of them on social media, but when we all started going to our separate ways, we kind of stopped staying in touch.
"The same place you've been to everyday for the past year. The same place you've been at all day." But that can't be right. I graduated from high school years ago. I just finished my master's in psychology and counselling, and I was about to take my therapist licensing test before I decided to take a nap right before.
I heard even more laughter. I looked around and saw that everyone was covering their mouth trying to hide the fact that they were laughing. Ha ha, grow up people. It's not that funny. Teachers picking on students isn't funny. Not even sure if this is even considered picking on someone.
When I was looking around, I made eye contact with someone in particular. Nathan Collins. My future husband. His face had a sorry look plastered all over it. If I remembered correctly, we weren't even dating back in 9th grade. We were just really good friends. Ah, it's so cute how he's concerned about me. That quality about him hasn't changed when we got older.
A sudden wave of nausea came over me. I put my hand over my stomach and instantly remembered what had happened. The stupidest mistake I had ever made, but also one of the greatest joys in my life. I was pregnant. I completely forgot that I had gotten pregnant with my oldest daughter, Caroline, when I was 15 and in 9th grade. My current boyfriend had somehow convinced me to do it because, and I quote, "Everyone else is doing it and no one else is getting pregnant. So what is the harm in doing it just this once to experiment." I knew that I shouldn't have, and I knew that it wasn't what God had wanted me to do, but that convinced me somehow.
After Caroline was born, Asher, my boyfriend at the time, broke up with me because he didn't want to be a father and take on that role that young. That had really angered me since he had promised when I had first gotten pregnant that he was going to stay with us no matter what happens. That's what I get for trusting his word in the first place.
I was so thankful that my parents helped out when they could so that I could get an education. I mean, they were furious of course when they first found out. That was probably the worst fear that I had after initially finding out myself. How my parents would've reacted. After the initial shock, they realized that this was going to happen no matter what, so they snapped out of it and started supporting me.
I was told by literally everyone outside of my family and friends to give up my baby for adoption or have an abortion. I was not about to go through an abortion, because it wasn't her fault for my poor judgment and decisions. I also didn't want to give her up for adoption because keeping her would mean that I would think through my actions the next time I was ever in a situation like that. Plus, she's my daughter. I can't just give her up or even kill her!
Nathan was a wonderful friend during my pregnancy and even after her birth. He always stayed with me when I wasn't feeling the best and always attended to my needs. After the birth, he took care of Caroline when no one else could take care of her so I could go to work or do some school. Eventually, after all the time that we spent together, we fell in love and started dating soon after she was born.
During my pregnancy, I grew in my faith and grew in my relationship with God. Before that, I was an okay Christian. I mean, I went to church every Sunday and I read the Bible, but I never really thought about actually living His Word in my life. I started really thinking about things in my life and started thinking about things that I could do to please God. I started studying His Word and really digging deeper into it. That ultimately grew my love and relationship with God, and I couldn't be more ecstatic that He made me realize that I needed to do that.
After Nathan and I had graduated and Caroline was 2 years old, he proposed. We had gotten married the summer before our freshman year of college. We ended up moving into the apartment that he had chosen to move into for college. He revealed to me that he had been working since the birth and started saving the money specifically for me. I had asked him why, and he said that he had always been in love with me and that he was going to do anything for me no matter what.
Things weren't always all sunshine and rainbows. Around the end of my college years, I had fallen into a deep depression where it was hard for me to really do anything. One day, it was really bad. I had started getting suicidal and tried convincing myself that killing myself would be the best option for everyone around me. I ended up making the decision that killing myself was the best option. I waited for Nathan to go and take Caroline to day care so that we could focus on doing school without the distraction of a 2-year-old.
Right after he left, I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I asked myself multiple times if this was the best option. The deathly spiral continued, and I kept telling myself that it was a good idea. I went straight to the balcony from the bathroom. I remember thinking that I had to act fast because Nathan was probably almost home since the day care wasn't that far away. I looked over the balcony at the city. I remember thinking that everything looked so perfect and that everyone seemed to be perfect.
I climbed the side of the balcony, and when I reached and got over the top, I hear the front door open and hear Nathan calling for me. I don't know why, but I broke down and started sobbing. He quickly found me and didn't even ask why I was on top of the balcony. He got me down and started holding me while I cried into his shirt. From that day on, I knew that the people around me needed me, and I can't resort to killing myself as the answer.
We finished off college, and I decided to get my master's while Nathan went and found a job. Shortly after graduating from the four-year college, I got pregnant with my second child, Maxon.
"Miss. Ellis, did you hear my question?" I snapped out of my thoughts and shook my head. She sighed and told me again, "Can you please answer number five for us?"